when i just loved him, and that was all. and i can’t even remember it. which is weird, when you think about it.
Well, hello Tumblr. I haven’t been on here in a long time, which means I probably haven’t vented in an even longer time. Life’s been a blur, but beautiful. Do you mind if I share with you?
I’m not really sure where we left off, but I was probably emotional and you were probably annoyed. With the beginning of the new year, I’m happy to say that I don’t need to make any drastic changes with my life because finally… FINALLY I made some of the biggest changes and I didn’t need the push of the new year to do it.
I enrolled into Massage Therapy school and am pursuing a career in the field. I’m so excited to be doing something I love that’s healthy, positive, and flexible in if I decide to go off-the-grid for a while. I graduate in August and will officially be a licensed massage therapist!
Shortly after enrolling in school, I applied at a chiropractic office and, as if by the grace of God, I was hired. It’s a big step in getting my foot in the door to a solid career. I love my job and the people I work for/with. I never thought I’d be so lucky so young.
I was able to get my own apartment with a friend and we have successfully made a cute little home for us. He is becoming my best friend and it’s fun learning how to be a grown-up even if paying the bills isn’t so fun.
I’m finally back to being social. haha Social for me, I guess. My relationship with Blu was tumultuous and unhealthy. For two years, I watched myself lose self-esteem, motivation, and self-respect. Off-and-on relationships never work. I think he loved me, but was never truly in love with me like I was him. And one day after about a month of being told I wasn’t “the kind of girl” he wanted, I woke up, broke up with him, and didn’t cry.
The breakup was hard. He begged, cried, and yelled at me to stay with him, marry him. But as much as I wanted to, I finally had to grow up and tell him no. There have been a few times where I miss him, of course, and we even tried being “friends” for a solid two days. But having sex together, isn’t a friendship and I finally have him blocked from contacting me in any way. Unless he decides to go bazurk and call me off somebody else’s phone…again.
Two years down the drain, but I learned so much.
There have been guys here and there, but I’m content being single. It’s nice to have me all to myself again.
As for the rest of life, family is beautiful, friends are great, and I’m the luckiest girl ever. With all of the things I put them through, I don’t think they’ll ever understand how truly grateful I am to have such an amazing support system. They love me more than I could ever deserve and I hope, at some point, they will see how much that means to me.
I’m happy. So happy. I am in charge of my life. I can do whatever I want. I will fall in love again. And I will never lose myself.
As hard as things may be, I am alive. And, at the end of the day, I am so lucky to be able to say that.